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The Myth of Lost Innocence
At a journalism conference a couple of years ago, I met Linda Perlstein, the author of “Not Much Just Chillin’: The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers.” This meeting occurred right in the middle of the “rainbow party” craze – that is to say, the media frenzy around the alleged oral activities of oversexed (and lipsticked) tweens.
Rainbow parties hadn’t actually played any part in Perlstein’s book. But that, she told me then, hadn’t stopped TV producers – representing “Oprah,” from “The Dr. Phil Show,” from a Katie Couric special – from calling and cajoling her to come on their shows to talk about them.
“I’d say, ‘No one is doing that,’” she told me when I called her this week to refresh my memory of her story. “Even the sluttiest kids I knew, when I told them about that said, ‘Ewww. No one does that.’ This really prurient stuff was being way overblown.
“Believe me, I wanted to be on ‘Oprah.’ I had a book to sell. I’d say, ‘There’s lots of stuff to talk about. Stuff that really should be talked about, that’s more nuanced and complex.’ They were like ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’”
I found myself thinking about Perlstein’s media follies this week, when I read Tara Parker-Pope’s article “The Myth of Rampant Teenage Promiscuity” in Science Times on Tuesday. For me it not only raised the issue of myth and reality (teens are, in truth, having sex less and later than they did a decade or two ago), but also brought to mind the stories that we tell and what people are willing to hear.
Two sociologists in Philadelphia, Kathleen A. Bogle, of La Salle University, and Maria Kefalas, of St. Joseph’s University, both specialists in teen sexual behavior, told Parker-Pope that they’d had to struggle mightily to get people out of their “moral panic” mindset, and make them understand that teens are not “in a downward spiral” or “out of control.”
“They just don’t believe you. You might as well be telling them the earth is flat,” Kefalas told me when I called to follow up with her this week.
This reminded me of how the developmental psychologist Joseph Mahoney – and others – have had to fight to convince people that another much-discussed creature of our time, the Overscheduled Child, isn’t as common or as stressed-out or even as busy as we commonly think. (I myself didn’t believe him at first, and wasn’t too nice about it.) It reminded me, too, of the Boy Crisis – how hard it has been for scholars who have taken a hard look at the boy/girl achievement numbers to counter the popular wisdom that boys are falling behind. And it reminded me of the Overmedicated Child, that particular trope of child corruption, soul theft and performance pressure that has for so long fascinated me.
In each of these examples, real problems – that some girls are engaging in too-young, risky and degrading sex, that some children are being stressed excessively and stifled by nonstop structure, that some boys (poor and minority boys) are doing badly in school, that some children are getting really reckless mental health services – are grossly simplified and, via the magical thinking of dogma and ideology, are elevated to the level of myth. Real complexities and nuances – details concerning exactly which children are suffering, flailing or failing, and in what numbers, and how and why, and what we can do about it – are lost.
That’s no accident. After all, moral panics – particularly those concerning children – always serve some hidden purpose. “Modern ideas about the innocent child have long been projections of adult needs and frustrations,” Gary Cross, a professor of modern history at Penn State University, writes in his 2004 book, “The Cute and the Cool: Wondrous Innocence and Modern American Children’s Culture.” “In the final analysis, modern innocence has let adults evade the consequences of their own contradictory lives.”
All the examples of child myth-making that I’ve mentioned here have to do, at base, with the perceived corruption of childhood, the loss of some kind of “natural” innocence. When they depart from kernels of reality to rise to the level of myth, they are, I believe, largely projections that enable adults to evade things. Specifically, the overblown focus on messed-up kids affords parents the possibility of avoiding looking inward and taking responsibility for the highly complex problems of everyday life.
In the case of the allegedly lascivious Lolitas, Kefalas sees this flight from reality very clearly: “People don’t want to hear about the economic context, the social context” to young teen sexual activity and teen pregnancy, she told me. “For a 14-year-old to be having sex it’s usually a symptom of a kid who’s really broken and really hurt. Those who are having sex without contraception are a distinct set: they’re poor, from single-parent households, doing poorly in school, have low self-esteem. Teen pregnancy is so high in America compared to other places not just because of access to contraception but because we have a lot of poverty. But Americans don’t want to see themselves as a poor society. They want to make a moral argument: if only teens had better values.”
Certain kinds of children have certain kinds of vulnerabilities that make them particularly susceptible to the toxic elements of our culture. This is true of those who do or don’t fall victim to stress and anxiety, and it’s true of those who do or don’t engage in too-early, too-risky sex. Certain kinds of policies can help children. (Abstinence-only sexual education clearly does not help in combating teen pregnancy.) Certain kinds of parenting can help or hurt, too.
Having a family life that’s so atomized and disconnected that children have the physical and emotional space to upload nude pictures of themselves onto the Internet, and lack the self-esteem and self-respect to know better is obviously undesirable. Being a stressed and frantic, frazzled and depressed parent is harmful, too. (“We are a mess,” Suniya Luthar, the Columbia University psychologist, once told me, explaining why she saw overscheduling as a symptom rather than a cause of family distress. “We are the ones running around like freaking chickens without a head…. It’s the situation where the captain of the ship has lost control.”)
If we parents hadn’t created a world this high-pressured, if we hadn’t, for decades, voted in policymakers who stripped away regulations that protected us, we wouldn’t be so certain that other parents are “drugging” their kids to make them more high-performing, and we wouldn’t have to be so fearful of the influence of Big Pharma.
Luthar is right: we – the adults in this society – are “a mess.” I think it’s time to stop projecting our dysfunction onto our children.
Teens are fragile in many ways. Lack of experience is one of the causes that makes them weak to new dangerous stuff. Sometimes time will teach teens to be better people. They will learn from mistakes they have made and make drastic change. If time doesn't solve the problems, maybe we should take a look what kind of environment they are in. Environment plays important role wherever you live. It shapes your mind and behavior from what I experienced and what I read. We live in modern world which contains lots of negative things such as porn video, drugs, alcoholic drinks and etc. We cannot forbid our children from using those bad stuffs if we ignore the environment they live in. Some parents put their children in religious school or pesantren for this reason. There is a very good word for this case, "If we play with perfume seller we will also be fragrant".
ReplyDeleteEKU BARUNA GRAHA (0608185)
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion the personality of American people is just same with Indonesian people. Nowadays there are so many teen pregnancies in Indonesia. It means that the morality of Indonesian people is getting lower day by day. Most of teen pregnancy cases happen in the rich family which parents are too busy and work 24-7, and they don’t give much attention to their family.
Parents don’t give much attention to their children. It makes them out of control and feel free to do anything what they want.
I agree with Mrs. Luthar’s opinion that we – the adults in this society – are “a mess.” Parents don’t really care with their family especially their children. Most of them are too busy to give a little love for their children. We live in the modern era where everybody needs money to live they put aside their family because they think money is more important than their family. They keep working to get much money and finally neglect their family.
When parents don’t have ability to give much love for their family especially their children because they are too busy or they don’t have much time to share, they finally give them money in order to make them happy. Parents do that to cover their disability as good parents. When their children lose control and they do free sex and finally they get pregnant, parents must be freak out because they never imagine before that their lovely children have transformed in to wild and amoral children.
I think it’s not children’s mistake; parents’ mistake have transformed them wilder than ever. They need love instead of money because we know that money couldn’t buy love. They are not happy because they have a lot of money but they are sad, really - really sad because they don’t have parents who always there when they need them.
Parenting needs certain technique. Not all parents are suitable for being parents. They need certain method for being good parents. They have to manage their time for their family and also their job. They have to put the family first among others. Finally your dream family will be granted.
Ida Hidayah-060099
ReplyDeleteI read an article which shows that America is the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the world. even for this year, the data shows that the number of teenage pregnancy has increased for 3% compare to the data last year. Each year, 1 million teenagers are pregnant and most of them (95%) are doing abortion. it means that what people do to fight pregnant before married and HIV campaign are perfunctory efforts. So what's wrong with the system?what's wrong with the people?
When i found a word 'teenage', i imagine a time when i enjoy mingle with my friends, going to school, and getting love from my parents. but now, i'm grown up with my parents's love and supports.thanks God.
I agree with Eku and Bramantya about parenting and environment take an important role for teenagers's life. in their age, they need attention and love. teenage is a time for parents to make a relation between parents and children get closer. that's one of the ways to make parents-children understand each other about themselves. Be a role model for your children. that is the first point.
When parents caught their children pregnant before married and not to tell parents about it, parents will get more desperate and deep sad. teenage pregnancy...oh...what a horrible word for parents.not only teenage is not ready to get pregnant, but also the risks they will get.
secondly, after parents take care of their children at home and make better communication between them, make sure that their environment fit them. as parents, we can take control them at home, but not outside the house. environment gives a big impact for anybody, because it will influence them. situation and condition influence teenage to do what environment do around them.
lastly, parents need to have a good communication with children, so children can tell anything about theirlives without any pressure from parents. just do with love.
in addition,we could not blame children or parents to solve this problem because between children and parents need to cooperate together to stay away from bad things. parents need to know about their children and take a role, so does children should know about their life whether it is good or not.
Ghea Lisanova (0608211)
ReplyDeleteTalking about teen pregnancy, as we can see clearly in our country instead of America, it has decreased year by year since we; Indonesian people couldn’t differentiate which Indonesian culture is and which the western culture is. Some of Indonesian people especially teenagers don’t have any knowledge about contraception. Thus, some who do free sex will be pregnant in regret. However, it’s not about contraception where they can use it to avoid pregnancy. It is all about how the adults make the teenagers avoid free sex. The most important thing in this case is parenting. Because what parents say is what children will do. In this modern era, somehow it’s rather hard to control children by a command even in “freaking out” mode with high tone. Most of teenagers will only listen what is said by their friend of the community they are in. So, to control their children, parents need to take their role as a friend in order to get involve with the children’s world. By this way, a good communication will happen then parents can teach children not in rigid way.
What parents do would be same as what their children do. When parents neglect their children, the children will ignore their parents. When parents do not control their children, the children would be out of control doing whatever they want. I agree with Sunia Luthar who states that adult is a mess, because adults/parents take all responsibility of their children. Once they are careless, big impact will come to their children, free sex for instance. Parents also should take a side in children preference of making a friend, movie choices, television show, communication tool, etc.
Fauziah Umar Abdat (0608789)
ReplyDeleteIn this article, I can say that, it is unquestionable that the corruption of childhood or the lost of some kind of “natural” innocence have brought to the level of myth. It is the way of thinking how the world of reality with many complexities to which children are suffering is disappears. The complex problem of everyday life that adult are facing has turn up the children to the other side of world but not reality. In this case, adult take control in making how the children can shape themselves in the sexual behavior. Parenting adviser is seen not looking inward that yet could be very stressful and painful. Young teen sexual activity and teen pregnancy is not solely because of the economic and social context but different from those who are having sex without contraception comes from poor family, single-parent household, doing poorly in school, have low self-esteem as Kefalas says. The percentage of pregnancy in America is higher compared to other places just because their argument that their teens have not a better value, but not because of poverty. If we could see that the children have their own choice to create their own value to filter the toxic of our culture, but the parent know that it is their role to shape their values. I want to say that the parent is the center of how the children control themselves concerning sexual behavior. The parent could be a mess as Suniya Luthar says, their use the children as a projection to avoid frustration in their life. It is true that parent is a ship to their children. If their do not just thinking about themselves only for their needs and not pushing and give a pressure to their children and not creating themselves to be high-performing, it perhaps not widely happens.
R. Melinda Aisyah HP (0608301)
ReplyDeleteIn my humble opinion, teens cannot be blame for their 'wrong way'. Sometimes, some circumstances and some conditions make teens take the wrong way. I do agree with my friends have mentioned before.
Some circumstances, in the way, how teenagers growing up, how their parents raised them up, how other teenagers treat them, how media influence them with many information about lifestyle, etc.
Some conditions, in the way, divorced parents, bad neighborhoods, etc.
Those circumstances and conditions influence teens' behavior, thought, and soul.
So, yes. Parents are the greatest influence for their child. Like parents, like children.
Now, talking about teens' pregnancy, i think it's a big deal we must face in this globalization era. It happens in Indonesia, too. We used to watch on TV, many senior high school students leave their new baby-born in dirty places, reformatory, or someone's house. Or sometimes, they don't leave it, they take care the baby but it's very hard because they are not ready to be parents yet and it will influence their babies' mental.
What should we do now is not to blame everybody, because it is our problem too. We don't need to use some complex techniques.
Maybe, in the beginning it's just only a little problem that comes to a great problem in the end. Maybe, we just should pay attention and look around us. And then, maybe, we can start to solve the problem when it's still a little problem. It may be around us, just pay attention .
In the end of my comment, i really want to apologize for my mistakes in spelling, grammar, etc.
About “The Myth of Lost Innocence”, this article told me that children nowadays are loosing their innocent. It is the issue of myth and reality about teen sexual behaviors and teen pregnancy which becomes real problems in America. Here in this essay I’d like to give my personal’s opinion.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, since ancient time, American is well-known as a people who believing freedom culture (west culture), especially teenagers. They belief free sex since they know that they confessed as adult who can do anything freely without norm boundary. Thus, this belief becomes such an ideology or dogma from generation to generation. Have you read “Re-Code your change DNA” written by Rheinald Kasali ph.D? which broadly it talks about how the way people think that it is created from tradition and those are started from thinking process which enriched by how the way people among us think, as we usually heard we are what we think, or you are who your friends are. Those are composing behavior, and it will emerge in the form of behave or habit.
Secondly, by understanding above, It then implies to me that teenager loss their innocent because accidentally they are changing concept of innocent it self, for some reasons that it is influenced by environment, globalization influence where word become mess with the uncertainty situation, limitedness of parents participation who taking responsibility of their children, low self-esteem, and etc. Because of that, teen concept of thinking has influenced their behavior which parents can hardly take a part on it because of their limitedness or even sex education which now is no longer can help in combating teen pregnancy.
Lastly, from that issue I conclude what we have to do is changing their concept of thinking; from the habitual that had created by tradition, thus it has to change for creating regeneration with emerging self-esteem since childhood.
Sinta Dien Wulandari-0608222
In this article, Suniya Luthar has stated that " we are a mess", we-the adults in this society-are"a mess." I also agree with her statement, and I think adults are indeed a mess, and rather than provide leadership and example, they actually look to children for guidance.
ReplyDeleteI think the problem in this case is that parents think innocence means void of sex and drugs, but what about innocent of stress, fear, hate, ridicule, to name a few. Childhood is a lot of things and innocent isn't one of them
Randygemapersadi-0608426
"The Myth of Lost Innocence" article.
ReplyDeleteAfter i read this article, i believed that kids nowadays had "changed culture". They knew "porn picture" in the age about 10-15, but we know that people may know "porn" in the age of teenager to adult about 18+.
"Those who are having sex without contraception are a distinct set: they’re poor, from single-parent households, doing poorly in school, have low self-esteem."(The Myth of Lost Innocence, article), they must be poor, because they couldn't buy a contraception. In Indonesia the cheapest contraception price is about rp.7000,-. so i can conclude that they who are having sex in young age and get pregnant is a poor people.
Now we should pay attention to this issue, our children is our next generation, what way that we want to choose for our next generation? we don't want to make mistake of course. We should keep our east culture, by tech it to our child in the future..
Yankee Sabbath Salamena - 0607828
Intan Nirmala
ReplyDelete(0607978)
to my mind (after i read this article) this issue is happened for several reasons
firstly is the environment where the teenagers live in. especially FAMILY, family take a big deal for this problem, i agree with R melinda that Parents are the greatest influence for their child, children's character is built from how the parents teach them (the way they teach.
secondly is FRIENDS, friends also take a role on this problem. teenagers usually follow what their friends do to get the admition ( imean "pengakuan") from their friends, they do that without thinking whether it is right or wrong
thirdly is their own self, something happened to someone is because the someone it self. teenagers is time when somebody seek for their "true self" because of that their usually like to try the new thing in their live without thinking the effect of what their do.
i think it's enough from me. i do apologize if i make some mistakes in this comment :)
Parents and social factor play an important role in the case of teens pregnancy in every place especially in Indonesia. But here I want to see it in different factors.
ReplyDeleteFirst is religion factor. Indonesia, which Moslem are the majority, religion basic is also take an important part to this case. The problem is, if teens have a good basic in religion, they will not do free-sexes, they won't do something haram in their religion. It is also told in the holy Qur’an that having sex without marriage are forbidden in Islam, this also a big sin if someone do this. But then, we can’t only blame their parents. In the age of 17 and more, they responsible to what they did, no longer as their parents’ responsible.
Another point I want to says is about drugs and drunks. Indonesia is the potential market for drugs and drunks. And then I can’t state that drugs and drunks are close related to free-sexes. If someone drugs or drinks, they will loss their consciousness, when they in unconscious condition they will not realize what they did. We can take an example in the party or something else. They begin the party with drinking, some are drugging, and they finished the party with having sex. That’s horrible.
Thus, teens are a transitional age from kids to adult. So that, everything they received will be absorbed by them. Everything they experienced in this age will build their personality in the future.
Mirna Tania
ReplyDelete(060791)
“The myth of lost innocent” described the situation of teenager today. Time after time, world has change teenager’s perspective about the term of innocence. Based on my opinion, “Moral Panic” on The Myth of Lost Innocent’s article was emerge about 1980’s or 1990’s but at present that term become extended and easily to find the evidence and the victims. I believe that a decade ago “Moral Panic, Corruption of child” were happened but on small scale. Today, along with the development of period and the development of human brain, the perspective of innocence starts to decrease. They tend to be more idealists and more individualistic. For example: Parent who enjoyed holds their ego than looking after their children. From the simple case would create big impacts to their children such as “engaging in too young, degrading sex, doing badly in school, sexual activity and teen pregnancy. Parent is a key for all those phenomena.
When I read Gary Cross’s statement “Modern ideas about the innocent child have long been projection of adult needs and frustration”, I thought for a long time. There are many evidences that “the innocence child long been projection of adult needs and frustrations”. The Frustrations of adults influences the innocence of child.
According to my experience, the adults (parent) have an important role in children’s life. I believe that children are reflecting of their parent in the past. That’s why as the adults or a parent, we should decrease our ego and try to reshuffle our diagram priority then put our children on first level. So, I hope trough involvement of parent as an adult would decrease those phenomena above…
posted by Laili Aziah (0608243)
ReplyDeleteAfter I read the article entitled The Myth of Lost Innocence, I found that parents or adult take an important role in the teen’s life. Teens are a difficult time for them, because they should take responsibility of what their children do and they expect to have an innocent child who behaves nicely without any problems. Then, when the problem came to their children or when they lost of some kind of ‘natural’ innocence as mentioned earlier in the article, most of parents didn’t want to be blamed for their dysfunction. There are two types of parents that I would like to explain in parenting their children especially teenager.
Firstly, parents who are over – protective, they usually suspect and worry about their children too much. Most of them didn’t believe their own children and take their child’s freedom. Usually children especially teens who get frustrated will act badly and disobey the rules; they will do what they parents forbid them to do. For example uploading their nude picture as mentioned in the article. It gave an emotional and physical impact to them. Moreover, some of them are lack of self – confidence.
Secondly, parents who are ignore their children because of their own business; they didn’t have any time to get involve in their children life. Eventually, children especially teens really need their parents to be their friends to talk and share about everything and as their figure. Then, when their children find a wrong friend and get into trouble, for example doing free sex and using drugs. Parents usually blame their children without considering their own mistake. Children would not believe their parents anymore for being ignorance.
After all, I think parents should behave democratic and believe in their children. Every day they should have a time to talk to their children and discuss about their activity and help them by suggesting them in their problems solving.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteSara mufidah
ReplyDelete(0608241)
after i read About “The Myth of Lost Innocence”, i have some opinion concerning this topic.
first is that the cause of a lot of pregnancy in teenager was not only because of the lack of parenting but also the environment itself. it has a bigger influence to a teen, it was because they were in a society whose getting more freedom nowadays, such as in this global era, everything becomes more open, easy, and free, such as the information, technology, and etc. it was also effected teenager nowadays where they can get all kind of information whether it was good or bad in just one click on the internet. they were not able to define which is the good thing or not it is because the thing maybe such as sex was in part of their environment now. seeing how a couple in the movie or maybe in their surrounding, that intimate with their lover were something that common happen and not a taboo.
secondly, i am agree with what Sinta said above that the concept of innocent was changing in the mind of the teenager. as i mentioned earlier that the environment was the one who has a big contribution to the constructed of the concept. perhaps it also because of lack the self-esteem and self-respect from the teenager themselves. it because of their lack of sex education, religion and their relationship with parents.
last is that from this issue i can conclude that parents should be able to guide their children especially when they were grow up being a teenager. it is because in teenage time, it was the transition phase were they could lost and confused. they environment could lead them to something bad.
Asep saepudin
ReplyDelete0608389
in "The Myth of Lost Innocence” i learn something about what is really happened in the united state. children especially girl are having a very complicated problems and from all of the problems they face, it will create another problems for them. many aspect give their own contribution in creating all of the problems some of them were economical situation of their family, social aspect that they faced in the society(their friends, their neighborhood etc.) and also their own family.
As a child, most of them are easily influenced by what others doing especially their peer or their seniors. they do something because of others doing the same things, actually is not only child who do that kind of things but we sometimes do the same things.
parenting in the united states in this text shown as the most crucial aspect that create the problems of a girl who get pregnant in their early age. yes its true, that parents should give their attention for their child but when they grown up the child it self who are the one who should chose what the best for their own self.
the best things to do is by showing their child something good in the very beginning of their parenting, while when children grown up what parent should do is only guide their children from not doing something bad(here the bad thing is having sex before they get married).
in conclusion i believe that in teenagers pregnancy is not merely about the fault of their parent but here we have many aspect to blame and it could be the child who should be blame for what they have done.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Bram that teens are fragile, they are easily contaminated with bad stuff such as drugs, alcohols or free sex. I think, teens not get enough information especially from their parents about the risks of using or doing what I mention before. Because of that, parents have important role to guides their children in right path. Beside that, environment is one of the important factors that affect teen’s behavior too.
ReplyDeleteDimas Hamdani
(0608275)
After I read the article “The Myth of Lost Innocence”, I realized that this article remind me of seminar at church in mid-2008. The seminar was about the relationship between parents parenting pattern and teenage developing attitude. I forgot the keynote speaker but at the end of the seminar, we came to a conclusion that “…beside the education institution and environment, parents take an important role to “shape” teenage behaviors and characters”. (Parents-teenage seminar at the church).
ReplyDeleteI do agree with the conclusion of the seminar. Teenage behaviors and characters are something that cannot be gained instantly but through a process which it begins at home by parents guide and parenting. If the parents failed to do this assignment, it can influence teenage behaviors and characters. Home is the first place where teenage got their “foundation” before they take the next step in the neighborhood. If parents failed to guide teenage, when teenage interact with the neighborhood, it can influence teenage attitude (which usually, the negative one).
Parents often times denied their responsibility (and their failed mission to guide their teenage) by blaming the other. Parents denied it and sometimes it shows their own attitude and life as Warner stated:
All the examples of child myth-making that I’ve mentioned here have to do, at base, with the perceived corruption of childhood, the loss of some kind of “natural” innocence. When they depart from kernels of reality to rise to the level of myth, they are, I believe, largely projections that enable adults to evade things. Specifically, the overblown focus on messed-up kids affords parents the possibility of avoiding looking inward and taking responsibility for the highly complex problems of everyday life.
The keynote speaker at the seminar mention the example of parents failed parenting their teenage and resulting in teenage behaviors such as free sex that can caused pregnancy. Other result is the infection of HIV virus which can ended by AIDS (data taken from several resources such as BKKBN and survey by several institution).
In my opinion, parents sometimes didn’t realize their failure because they felt that they have already spent more times with their children (especially the teenage). The important thing of spend the time with their children is not just how much time or how many hours or days they spend it, but rather, how they create a quality times with their children. It is useless for the parents to spend 8 hours per day with their children but they don’t know what happen to their children on that day at the school or on the neighborhood. Parents should try to spend more quality times with their children, especially the teenage. For example, they can have a dinner together with their children and asking about their children activities for that day. Or the family can watch a movie together on the family room, talking about the activities, etc. This activities not only help the children to have a good perception of their parents but also help the parents to become a more good parents for their children and eventually, it can help the children (especially the teenage) to prevent the negative influence they got from the school and neighbor. This also can build the behaviors and characters of the teenage.
(Fajar Supriono)
(0608216)
Hi guys how i miss you guys and all courses so bad!
ReplyDelete